To whom shall we go?

How long will I do the things
I don't want to do
Say the things I don't want to say
Think what I don't want to think
How many times will I ask
For a sign, a miracle, a gift
What more do I need
To see that everything I need
Is being offered for free
I read the words
He fed 5,000
Gave sight to the blind
Raised the dead
He even raised himself
I've seen the wonders
Healings, forgiveness, the lost brought home
I pray the prayers
Pleading, asking, praising
But what happens
Before all that
Makes it to my heart?

John 6:68-69: Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

Are you waiting for God to do something in your life? Jesus challenged the people of his day because they were always asking for signs and miracles to be performed so Jesus could prove himself to them.
How blind could they be? The Messiah was standing in front of them, telling them who he was, that he was the Savior they read about in the Scriptures, and performing the very miracles they were looking for.
And they still wanted to kill him. It's easy for us to see as we read the Bible today, but if Jesus was standing in front of you, inviting you to follow him, what would your response be?Well, he is doing just that. Everyday. "I stand at the door and knock," he says. "If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me."
That is the offer of life. Real life, spent in the presence of our Creator. Life to the full, eternal life, salvation. There are so many ways to say it, but Jesus is the only one who offers that life. Read the Gospels in the Bible, particularly John, and marvel at the things Jesus did. Every time I do, I know I am following the only one who will lead me home.

What's in a name?

As Kate approaches the 20-week mark of pregnancy and we get more and more excited to find out if we are having a boy or a girl or both (kidding!), we have been spending a lot of time trying to pick out a name for the unknown soldier.
We have searched lists of hipster names, Shakespeare names, athlete names and Indonesian names. We searched by meaning. We searched by popularity.
Still, we come up empty. Wouldn't it be easy to follow the Native American tradition of going outside and naming the kid whatever you see (or did we make up that "tradition"?). In Biblical times, children had named that defined their lives and changed the course of history.
But what is in a name? Does it define us? Does it dictate who we are or who we become?
Of course not. But who we are will define our name. A person's character, they way they live and present themselves, will be what people think of when they think of your name.
When people think of Ryan, I know what I want them to think, but I also have a good idea of what they actually think. I am still trying to make those two Ryans have the same meaning.
I would love for people to say, Ryan, yeah he's a man of integrity, reliability, honesty, a great dad, a man to be admired. I won't tell you what people do say, but if you know me, you know what you would say.
So, what does your name mean?

Comm-unity

I didn't know the value of Christian community until I found it, which also means I didn't know what I was missing. Between the group of men I have been meeting with regularly for more than three years and the newer group of couples we have started a house church with, I am starting to see what the Church can be.
I started to think about all this yesterday when I had to miss our home church meeting. My whole day was thrown off at first. I am selfish about my time, and when my schedule changes, I don't like it. All week I look forward to seeing those 12 other people on Sunday afternoon, but not seeing them left me feeling distant and disconnected.
Fortunately, I had a meeting scheduled with some of those men I was talking about. Seeing them was rejuvenating. It's hard to explain where the energy comes from, but if you are in a similar community, you know the feeling I am talking about. And if you don't have people you get together with regularly to pray with, eat with, be real with, you are missing out, especially if you think you're not.
I would encourage you to read Acts and something by Shane Claiborne, whose friends have taken community to a level we aren't used to.

Come stand in the light

One of my favorite songs right now is "Christ is Risen" by Matt Maher (who my wife tells me is a hipster and that is probably why I like him). The chorus says:

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
Our God is not dead, He's alive, He's alive!

I have found encouragement in this song many times, especially as I contemplate the Church and the small groups I am part of that I believe embody the qualities of the first church Paul writes about in Acts. We are called to stand in the light and rejoice in the fact that Christ is alive, giving us purpose and drive to share that news with our friends.

  
I didn't realize until recently that Maher borrowed from 1 Corinthians 15: 

"'Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?'

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

Coincidentally, my boss recently posted that last sentence in our Chick-fil-A, which I look to often as a reminder that I can make a difference, no matter how small, in the lives of others everyday.

Grace vs. Works. Grace wins.

Our small group/house church had a great discussion yesterday, mostly centered around works and grace (I think). While we all agree that we are saved by grace alone and not by anything we have done, can do or will do, the discussion was about what we should or should not be doing as Christ-followers to bring us closer to Christ.
I need to pray for God to change my heart because without that, I will never change. But I also contend that there are things I can and should do to help spur that on that change. My specific example was that I can sit in a room alone all day and pray that I will no longer gossip, complain or criticize, and I will probably not do any of those things because I am alone in a room.
But what happens when I leave that room? I do realize nothing will change if I am seeking to change for change itself, but I will only be transformed for Christ's sake.
The real issue is not how I will change, but why - and if - I want to be changed.

What is our good?

“And what you thought you came for
Is only a shell, a husk of meaning
From which the purpose breaks only when it is fulfilled
If at all. Either you had no purpose
Or the purpose is beyond the end you figured
And is altered in fulfillment.” – T.S. Eliot

Things don’t always – if ever – turn out the way we planned. Sometimes they do turn out in our favor, even if it wasn’t according to our plan. The reason?
Romans 8:28. God works for the good of those who love him. And I do not believe I am using this verse out of context. Our “good,” according to God, is often far from what we want or even what we think we need.
In my experience, the things I have wanted, the things I thought I was working toward, were more often a means to an end I could have never imagined, rather than the end itself. Those desires were only the shell of the real purpose for which I was striving, and I couldn’t see it until it happened. Thus, in Eliot’s words, what I thought I was working for was altered in its fulfillment, and I ended up working for something else.
God is funny that way.

Where were you?

I've been watching too many shows about the events of Sept. 11, 2001. I refuse to watch anything that has to do with 9/11 conspiracies because I think anyone who believes our government had anything to do with the attacks is crazy.
But I have learned a lot in the several hours I have spent watching these documentaries. My favorite so far was about New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani. He recapped his day, which included a lot of walking the streets of New York that day because he couldn't drive anywhere. I was impressed by his honesty, bravery and the way he tried to stay calm even though he said he wanted to stop and cry several times.
I will always remember my Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2001. It was my second day of classes of my freshman year at Ohio University. I woke up late, didn't turn on the TV and went to my 9 a.m. class. I had no idea what happened until about 11 when news about the planes hitting the towers was buzzing around campus. I still didn't know many details until I got back to my dorm around 1 p.m.
I went to a scheduled lunch at Grinders with Ryan Ventura. We had just met, so it was awkward to say the least, as we just watched the TVs in stunned silence. I spent the next three days watching Brian Williams in MSNBC (I was a journalism major, so I was enthralled), and contemplating joining the Army. At the time, it seemed like the only logical solution. Fortunately, I didn't sign up, but my life, like the rest of the the country's, was changed forever.

Christ in me, the hope and glory

What does it mean to be all things to all men? We spend so much time trying to make people think we are a certain way or a certain thing, why would we want to be what they are?
Paul says it is for the greater good. He said he did it do "save some," as if he realized he could not save all.
"I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible... I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings," (1 Corinthians 9).
I read this last night and I am really mulling over what it looks like to be such an influence on others that they are so attracted to Christ in me that they have to know what it is that makes me live the way I do.

How far did you run today?

I ran zero miles again today. And I will probably pay someone else to follow a recipe to make my dinner. Do I epitomize American culture? If all you knew about me was that, you would say yes, obviously.
But I can't get into a debate that will surely turn political. I could, however, start a discussion about "church" culture - what is the church, what is the role of the church, what the church isn't. Instead I'll just brag on the group I am a part of that is venturing out to start our own house church/small group in an attempt to love our city of Hamilton.
Last year, eight of us starting getting together weekly to meet some of our needs for fellowship and authenticity. Now, there are 14 of us. We eat, pray, worship and get to the heart of why we are all there - to learn how to love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind. So far it has been a lesson in humility for all of us, as we discuss scripture, pray for each other and open up about issues in our lives we have never told anyone else. The key for us has been creating an environment of safety, love and honesty.
I'd love to hear about your church experience.

My mom reads this

I did put it on facebook, but it didn't take long for my mom to find the blog. At least someone will always be reading it, right?
It's too early to be out of original thoughts, but here's a poem I wrote a few months ago contrasting my old life with my life as a Christian. Enjoy.

I'm standing on the outside because I won't let myself in

Caught in the middle because I won't reach for the net

Feeling alone because I locked everyone out

Gasping for air because I'm holding my breath

Blinded because my eyes are closed

Lost because I threw away the map

Hungry because I won't enter the banquet

Thirsty because my well has run dry

The future looks dark because I turned out the lights.

But now I'm sitting in Your presence, surrounded by love

Held by Your hand that will never let go

Accepted because of Your grace that lets me in

Breathing deep the air of each new day

Found because Your voice called out to guide me home

Full because of Your body, broken for me

Quenched by Your living water

Now my cup overflows

My path is lit

And my hope is in the unimaginable glory

That awaits those who love You.